We interrupt your regularly scheduled Bar Mitzvah summary for a brief report on the current events of today.**
After a weekend of eating lots of CRAP, I recommitted myself to watching the diet again, to continue on my path of losing some excess pounds. Going for a drive in snowy Suburbia to run an errand (and of course, try to sell more books) in my cute little black car, I suddenly detected an obstacle to my willpower as a sweet smell wafted into my car and up to my nose. I knew that smell anywhere. It was Dunkin Donuts.
“I…will…not…stop…for…donuts!” I said to myself as I tried to speed up to get away, all the while the poor road conditions were forcing me to slow back down.
“No! This…can’t…happen!” I shouted, to nobody but myself.
Wait a minute though…there was something odd about this particular Dunkin Donuts that I was passing. I felt something was out of sorts. Something…perhaps MANIC?
I pulled up to the drive-thru and yelled, “I don’t want any donuts but I sense the presence of a friend in there…Manic, is that you????”
“Beeble sneeble zithskreet mumblejumble…” said the person on the intercom.
Because I worked at McDonalds for 2 1/2 years in high school and then minored in Intercom Translation in college, I was overjoyed to translate and discover that my friend Manic Mommy was indeed “in the building”.
I yelled, “Crfleebly floo!”, and a minute later, she came bursting out into the parking lot:
“I come bearing donuts!” she screamed.
“Hey, while you’re here,” she said, “why don’t you donate some blood at the place that is conveniently located just a few doors down? I’m finishing up a contest at my blog and you’ll be just in time!”
I said, “Oh my goodness, I would LOVE to give blood! How did you know that was exactly the errand I came out especially to do today? And, would you come with me? Let’s have some fun!”
So she did. I pulled myself out of eligibility for the contest prizes since it might look a little fishy if I won, after all the fun we had. Instead, I will say that I donated blood in honor of the thirteen-year-old’s bar mitzvah and as my good deed for the day. If you haven’t given blood in a while, you should consider it! (But I’m not pushing you…)
First, I had to register and give them all the information about my worldly travels, to make sure I hadn’t been exposed to Mad Cow Disease or anything like that. I accidentally answered one of the Man questions that was on the form and the woman looked at me funny when she had to ask me why I didn’t just mark that I’m a Female. But we got that all fixed. And I passed all of the preliminary stuff. Yay Me!
I left that little room and went to the Blood Chair (not a technical term) and met up with my phlebotomist.
phle·bot·o·mist /fləˈbɒtəmɪst/ [fluh-bot-uh-mist]
1. a specialist in phlebotomy.
2. a nurse or other health worker trained in drawing venous blood for testing or donation.
Let’s call her Anin. She was great. Naturally I wore my best tiara. I don’t leave home without it. As Manic and I “tore up the place” and had them in stitches at our goofy behavior, we wanted to get a photo for posterity. I had prepared a special sign for Manic to hold, JUST IN CASE I coincidentally met up with her out on the town. (Don’t you do that kind of stuff?)
Here’s the happy group photo: Me, let’s call that one Emiaj, Anin, and Manic. Ready for my sweet snack so I don’t pass out!
Nothing like a Valentine’s Day donut…and since I gave blood, I HAD to eat it. Manic said so. She’s such a pusher.
We chatted there for a while as I had my snack, and I discovered that Manic actually hangs out at this place. She made herself right at home.
I was a bit worried about her when she started talking about having them all over for a Memorial Day BBQ. I had to get her out of there, so we skipped out to grab a quick lunch. Here’s the inside of her car.
After lunch, she dropped me back off at my car and, because I was such a good bloodsport (get it?), she scraped off my car for me. Thanks for the scrape, Manic! LOL
**This story is a slightly fictional account based on actual events.
How fun was that?!! You guys did great. Way to go!! I love the tiara!
OOOOH! The Doughnuts! Manic, your voice is wrong. It doesn’t fit the voice in my head. It’s like seeing the film of the book you just read. It’s confusing and a little perplexing. Still love the hair though!
Agh, the voice thing!!! It’s never how you imagine it is it?
I used to get Demi Moore–HOW I WISH! But that was when I smoked two packs a day.
I tried to steal the tiara but Melisa wouldn’t let me.
OK, now I don’t like my voice anymore. I definitely have that midwestern twang now that I’ve been back here for three years.
Monnik: You have no idea: SO FUN. Yes, that’s my “formal” tiara. I have one with a little purple frou-frou thing on it that is for more casual occasions, but I preferred the formal one today.
Amanda: Thanks for commenting! You are so social! hee hee
Manic: What’s wrong with a midwestern twang? We sound adorable! 🙂
i’m here via manic. and that was hysterical!!!
i love the heart shaped doughnuts! and manic the pusher. ah but pushing for a great cause!
(thanks for the inside scoop on what her car looks like!)
And “No problem” on the car interior photo…I just knew you all were wondering what it looked like. Bwahahahaha!!
You should see what I drive when I’m not out pimping for blood!
Heart shaped donuts, I curse the boonies of NC for not having such advancements in modern technology. PS here in NC we do get ReaL LIVE hunky FIREMEN who hand out cookies after you give blood. not quite as good as doughy yeasty goodness, but well, you know…I LOVE THE PICS!!
I’d take a fireman!
Tiaras, Donuts, Blood and Snow…. there’s a title for a book!
I think I need to live near you guys!
Oh dang. I forgot to wear my tiara when I gave blood a few weeks ago and entered her contest. That would have made it 1,000 times better. And heart shaped doughnuts? I got goldfish in a bag.
Seriously, I love that you wore a tiara. You rock!
Manic: Eeew, “pimping for blood”? You crack me up.
Mommy Confidential: I was amazed at the donuts too! I’m sorry you don’t have them down there, but living for several years in Tennessee I can tell you that eventually you WILL have them. I just don’t know when. I’ll send you one! And you’re going to have to let me know what town you’re in so I can send my sister Jules down there. She loves her some Firemen.
Sue: Good idea! Can you imagine the cover? LOL
Sauntering: The tiara made it all better for me. tee hee
I recommend wearing a tiara for all of those mundane things that need to be spiced up a bit. 🙂
Those are beautiful looking donuts. I want them ALL. Hmm, why am I not allowed to eat any anymore? Because I can’t distinguish between SOME donuts and ALL OF THE DONUTS? Seriously. I’ll eat them cold, stale, broken, until they’re gone. But we weren’t talking about me and my donut addiction.
This sounds like so much fun!
And Manic, don’t be sad about your accent! I’ve lived back in TX for 7 years now and I still say bAAAg like I still live in MI. My lovely hubby likes it and I don’t want to trade it for a TX twang, so what the hey. You guys want some Vernor’s in your baaaag? =)
OMG where do I start? First of all, please do not ever post something this hilarious without a warning.
White shirt+coffee= wet breasts and coffee stains in work.
Yay to donating blood. Mmmmh to the Donuts. I want a tiara too so my queen like status is visible for miles 🙂 and if we had snow and I had not already given blood, I would love for Manic to come over to scrape my car 🙂
Thanks for the laugh
Ooh, sorry about the white shirt, wet breasts, coffee, but I’m sure any male readers love that visual!!!!
Manic brought you donuts and cleaned off your car?!!!
When I donated, I had to serve myself a little pack of cookies and they were OUT OF COFFEE!!
Manic, you really owe me.
Robin, technically, I bought the blood workers the donuts!! Hee hee.
But yeah, the ‘scrape’ was an unexpected bonus for Melis!
Kate: I could have eaten them all too: thank goodness they weren’t all for me! 🙂
Kat: ditto on what Manic said; sorry about that but hopefully it made your co-workers’ day a little better. LOL
Manic: Thanks for clarifying that for Robin. NO, PEOPLE: the donuts were not intended for me, just for the bloody workers! Manic is an equal-opportunity pusher! 🙂
i want some donuts NOW!! good thing that i live within walking distance to a dunkin donuts!! well, not walking distance in the winter…but, it’s 2 miles away so…i could walk there when it’s warm, binge eat on donuts…and it won’t even count because…i’m walking them off!!
well, i’m glad to hear how much fun it is to donate blood, over in your area because…i don’t care if jonny depp it with me, here in michigan…it’s still NOT fun!! i hate getting my blood taken!
but…that was a mitzvah…
Thats awesome that you bring your vampires donuts.
I wear my tiara on my birthday, even to work, but I have never thought about wearing it on other occasions.
When the force of the donuts pulls you in…It is futile to resist.
I only where I tiarra when I clean the house, doesn’t everyone?
SSP: Come on, you know if Johnny Depp accompanied you to the Blood Shop, you’d totally have fun donating. 🙂
Tanya and Simone: I’m thrilled to read all of these comments and find that there is a whole underground society of tiara-wearing Divas! Princesses Unite!
And the moral of the story is, who knew giving blood could be so adventurous?? I’d do it for the heart shaped donuts and no snow scraping!
Bina: You’re exactly right. I have to say if I had just gone to give blood by myself with no tiara, no donuts, and no Manic, it wouldn’t have been 1/100th of the fun! 🙂
Hilarious tale! Loved it.
One more item: you could have gotten a free pound of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts for donating!!!
They have “Pound for a Pint” promotion running right now with the American Red Cross and most Dunkins!
Pretty good deal, and you don’t even have to wear a tiara to redeem the pound–though it would be a good idea!
Anonymous: I did indeed forget to mention that after I donated blood, I got a coupon that I can redeem anytime this year at Baker’s Square for a free pie. (or as we say here in my house, Pah.) Yum!
you guys are too funny.
Just popped over from Manic’s. Good/great/fabulous/super job on giving blood.
So do you have to tote your tiaras around, or do they just magically appear when you need them?
Hi Jules! Thanks for visiting! Yes, I would say that I carry my tiara everywhere I go, even though I really don’t. LOL
I actually accidentally broke the one that Manic and I used; that one was my “Formal” one. I have to go to Claire’s Boutique and get another. LOL