Six Should Have Been Enough.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard of the California woman who recently gave birth to octuplets. At first, the news was something amazing (I guess medically, it’s still amazing), but then the story turned into an ethical debate.

Things you might not know that have come out about this mother?

1. She is single.
2. She is in her early 30s.
3. She already had six children, between the ages of 2 and 7.
4. She allegedly filed for bankruptcy two years ago.
5. She lives with her mother.
6. According to her mother, she has been “obsessed” with having children since she was a teenager.
7. All fourteen children were conceived via in-vitro fertilization.
8. Reports vary over exactly how many embryos were implanted by doctors, from “way less than eight” to “eight, and they all ‘took’.”
9. The grandmother of the octuplets has expressed public frustration with her daughter’s obsession with having kids, and has stated that when she “gets home from the hospital, I’m gone.”
10. This woman is now done having children. Not because she doesn’t want any more: it’s because “she’s out of frozen embryos”.

And the most sickening part (to me)? She expects payment to talk about this. She expects donations. She expects that she won’t have to put out a dime to take care of these children.

I am outraged.

I don’t know very much about the screening processes in place for women who want to go through in-vitro, but…ARE THERE ANY? Why in the world would doctors implant anywhere between “way less than eight” and “eight” frozen embryos in a woman who is already the mother of six children, who can’t support herself???

Beyond that, okay, now the babies are born. Eventually, once the donations dry up, chances are likely with this mother that the taxpayers will be paying for this. And why? Because she loves children.

I love to travel, but I can’t really afford to do it. What is it with people, feeling like they are somehow entitled to have everything they want exactly when they want it???

I wish, just ONCE, that companies would say “Hell to the NO!” when it comes to building this woman a house, donating diapers, donating formula, donating a van, the list goes on. But they won’t. I mean, obviously I don’t want these babies (and their SIX SIBLINGS) to suffer; they didn’t ask to be born and they are the innocents in this story. However, people are learning that they can do completely asinine things and get paid for it, and I think it’s disgusting.

When companies start falling all over themselves to donate their goods and services to this woman mainly to get the exposure and advertising, I will have a question. Who is going to help the others? You know, the really, genuinely responsible people who have a reasonable amount of kids, hold down two or three jobs (or have lost their jobs!), who can’t take care of their family? There are so many of them these days, in these times. I wish that the companies who will come out of the woodwork to throw free goods at this mom of fourteen kids would think again and help the people who fell into their situation by chance, not because they created it to win the lottery.

Rant over. For now. Thoughts?

*Sources: Associated Press, The Chicago Sun Times, The London Times Online.

30 Comments

  • Dea

    Blah, I didn’t know the rest of the story. That’s just awful and irresponsible on everyone’s part. 🙁 Those children don’t deserve to have such a wack…

    I’m with you on the companies – how about lowering your prices and making it reasonable for all the people to be able to afford the necessities, instead of spending money on advertising and wasting money on this woman??

    I’d love to know who she got the, ahem, “guys” from to do all the in vitro…. Or the money – in vitro ain’t cheap!

  • Lilacspecs

    I’m in total agreement with you. When I heard about it I was shocked and apalled and I still am. Why does everything in the US have to always be such a circus sideshow for crying out loud.

  • OHmommy

    If Oprah puts her on the show I will never again watch.

    Although, I am very curious to find out who the doctor and clinic are and the moral issues that come out of this. Most respectable clinics only allow 2 maybe 3 embryos at a time.

  • Mags

    There is a screening process, but it’s not very good. When I was having infertility treatments (when I was MARRIED) and they asked me the obvious things like do we have income, a place to live-and then they tested us both for std’s.

    That was it. :-/

    And yeah-the amount of embryos that were implanted is a major issue.

    PS. Where did she get the money for freezing embryos and for invitro in the first place? We froze sperm b/c my ex traveled a lot and we wanted to be sure when I was ready we could proceed-and THAT was outrageously expensive…

  • Sue

    I’ve been waiting for someone to blog about her! I just haven’t had the time to jump on the bandwagon.
    I feel bad for the kids. Because of her selfishness, there are now 14 of them. And of the octuplets, no one knows yet about their long term health.
    Also, shame on the Drs for not putting any constraints on this woman!
    I also heard she wanted to breast feed all of them. Talk about a 24/7 milk bar.
    It’s like a bad accident that you can’t turn away from.

  • Weaselmomma

    Let me start by saying I have no issue with people having as many children as they can, as long as they can provide for them. I do have a problem with this woman who can’t provide for the children she already has going out of her way to have more. I don’t know how it was paid for but will tell you that medicaid pays for invitro (I know, that’s crazy). As for the 8 embrios implanted, many docs will do this to see how many take and then counsel the mom to ‘selectively reduce’ i.e. abort any ‘extras’. I applaud the mom for not taking this option, but can’t believe she was able to get this point to begin with. I can’t believe that she would do this without benefit of giving the kids a father or having a stable life and income. I wish the best for the kids, but think that this mom needs some psychiatric intervention. Her Mother also seems to be an enabler to this point. She never said, anymore and you won’t be living in my house. As far as corporate donation goes, they only do it because they will make money from it. It good business sense and it won’t change unless they get negative publicity.

  • Kat

    Apparently I have been living under a rock because I had no clue but heck I sure am glad that there are strict rules about in-vitro here in Germany…

  • Melisa with one S

    Michelle: You’re right, sad but true!

    Deanna: I had read somewhere that the “guys” were from her ex, but I’m not sure how true that is.

    Lilacspecs: Circus side show is the perfect way to put it. It’s no wonder that some people in other parts of the world have totally twisted views about who Americans are; it’s a matter of a few doing things that end up “speaking” about the many. Ugh. Makes me nauseous.

    OHMommy: I can’t imagine that Oprah would put her on. But maybe she would? I can totally see Dr. Phil going after this one. 🙁

    Mags: Thanks for adding that. As I said, I have no idea about the screening process; seems to me that there should be some kind of recommended course of action (counseling first, etc.) with someone who is single…? Not that all marriages are stable or that a single person can’t have children; it’s just that I’m thinking that *somebody* should really do some extra double-checking on someone who is single (meaning, with no spouse OR significant other!) to make sure that they can cope financially and emotionally, since they don’t have a partner. (and if they have family support, then GREAT. That will come out in the counseling and things can proceed) Or something like that??? Ugh.

    Sue: I also heard that she wanted to breastfeed all of them. How is she going to change diapers or bathe babies if she’s got a baby attached to each breast 24/7?

    Weaselmomma: I’m with you totally on not having an issue with people having tons of kids, if they can provide for them. Also, I agree on wondering why she got so far (with the eight embryos implanted); the selective reduction is something I didn’t bring up for a couple of reasons (I’m not trying to avoid it totally); mainly because everyone has differing opinions on abortion and I respect everyone’s opinion (on everything! 🙂 ), but also because it, like you said, goes back to how she got there in the first place. She wouldn’t have had to decide either way about selective reduction if she only got 2 or 3 implanted. Also, I think you’re right on with the mom needing psychiatric help. TOTALLY.

    Kat: You mean I told you, the News Queen, something you hadn’t read before? I’m speechless. 🙂 xoxo

  • Anonymous

    From Dawn:

    I had no idea that she was single and had in-vitro with all of her other children. I'm just speechless.

    However, I probably will start something by saying that I partly blame America for making Jon & Kate plus 8 and the Duggers so popular (and yes, I'm a guilty party.) Really, do you think that J&K are working people? No, their full time jobs are exploiting their children. Sad, but true. 🙁

    Discuss. 🙂

  • Dea

    John and Kate started out completely differently though. Fist off, they used a totally different fertility treatment. IUI so rarely comes up with triplets, let alone sextuplets! And John still has a job – they just have a much easier time making ends meet by putting up with cameras, etc.

    ITA though that people try to “be like” those families. But I doubt I’d be watching this chick – ick! She sounds mental. Kate and John are fun to watch, ya know?

    And the Duggars I watch out of sheer fascination for their completely out-there way of life! LOL!

    This woman went at this in such a way as to TRY to have this many babies. To try to set a record. She endangered the lives of those babies to “be a star” so to speak. That’s just sick.

    Also, if it IS her ex’s “guys” he should sure as HECK have a say in their usage – he is the father of ANY AND ALL frozen embryos – if she used them without his consent – he could sue her. Once again, she shows such awful judgement…

  • Anonymous

    From Dawn:

    I just assumed that Jon quit his full time IT job since he was on the show all. of. the. time. running errands for Kate, chasing after the kids, etc. My bad. However, those kiddos are just so darned cute and I don’t think that anyone could overshadow them no matter how many children they try to have at one time.

    I’m still just in total shock over that woman. :shaking head:

  • MaNiC MoMMy™

    My personal thought–each of those babies should be given to a caring childless couple right now to be raised in a loving caring environment. That woman is horrible. SHe is using those children to become rich. Hey, kind of like that woman who is auctioning off her virginity. Hmmm.

  • Sarah

    All I have to say is: I agree, 100% with what you said.

    As as for Manic's comment – again, 100%! There are so many couples struggling to have ONE baby (a friend of mine!) and trying to deal with the expense of treatments because not all insurance will cover things like this. And yet this douchebag up and has EIGHT more babies on top of the SIX she already couldn't afford. I'm sorry…..those 8 babies could easily & quickly be placed in loving, stable homes where women are fighting to become a mother.

    What I'd like to know is when is enough, enough? I'm all about our freedoms, but c'mon …. they need to cap the "system" somewhere. No more welfare for those that keep plunging themselves deeper in the hole.

  • Mom24

    It just makes me so, so sad. I’m sad for those babies.

    I feel badly for the mom’s who want a lot of children and will perhaps be judged a little harsher now. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having 14 children IF you can afford them and IF you can do a good job parenting them. Sadly, neither is true here.

    I think the doctor(s) who made this happen in the first place should have to explain their actions before a state review board.

  • terri

    There’s a reality show for everything these days. She’s probably hoping to make her living by letting the world watch her on television. Unfortunately for her, there are enough reality series on families with way more than the average number of children. This is just sad.

    (Thanks for stopping by today! I’ve noticed you on a couple of blogs I frequent and am glad you came by to introduce yourself.)

  • Huckdoll

    Yeah, I heard about this, but not the whole story – thanks for writing about it!

    I just hope for the best for the family. All I know is that it was hard enough for me with two babies at once, I simply cannot imagine adding even one more…EVEN if the talk shows were donating me homes and cars, etc…it’s just not worth it to me. It took me over a year to be able to bond individually with my girls as it was and it broke my heart that I didn’t have that one on one time with them. I will never understand this woman or the physicians that made this happen. It’s very sad to me.

  • Momo Fali

    This sickens me. I was completely shocked when I first heard about it. Obviously, there is something mentally wrong with this woman to even consider the procedure, and yet she and her unstable mind have 14 kids to take care of…with a lot of help from our higher insurance premiums and probably our tax dollars.

  • Anonymous

    Its Jim,

    I contacted ABC News today to express my displeasure at their decision to grant this woman an interview. I would tell Oprah the same but I’m pretty sure she doesnt care wat I think, I’m not exactly her demographic. I call on everyone who is “outraged” by this to put up or shut up. If she’s on TV, don’t watch it, contact the shows that she is on and let them know you don’t approve. If she gets free diapers, contact he brand to tell them how you feel about it. These “get rich quick” schemes will not stop unless we do not support them. So, are you truely upset by this behavior or more insterested in watching the train wreck happen?

  • Dea

    I won't be watching, that's for sure!!! Jim, I'm with you – writing in, voicing the disgust?? TOTALLY the way to go. The media needs to know that there ARE people out there disgusted by her antics.

    Dawn – yeah, he doesn't work at the same job he used to when the show started. He worked over 40 hours a week, etc. And she worked PT as a nurse on weekends. I think he even had a second job. Their show has helped them in that way. He is, I think, a consultant now for IT, and so can work when/where he wants. So he's got a way more flexible schedule. How sad is it that I know these things?? LOL! They had a Q&A set of shows recently, and that was one of the questions asked….and he answered. They did say that they do benefit from the show, that she doesn't have to work, he doesn't have to work AS much, etc. But yeah….hehehe….

    So, off to write my notes to ABC and Oprah…

  • Shawna

    I totally agree. It’s along the same lines as why perfectly healthy individuals refuse to work for McDonald’s when faced with a choice between McDonald’s employment and bankruptcy.

    GIVE ME A BREAK YOU UNGRATEFUL, CONDESCENDING IDIOTS! Right? Bankruptcy costs the courts and your community money. It should only be used as a last resort. Having more children irresponsibly places an inordinate amount of burden on the community also – from farmers who have to supply food for 8 lives and all THEIR children in the future – to the education system and government.

    Thanks for this blog. I agree with you and it might just be a subject in the future for my own writing. Maybe I’ll title my story, “Responsibility to the Community and How You Should Not Be A Git!”

    Whatcha think?

    Take care girlfriend – let’s do that coffee soon!!!

    Shawna

  • Melisa with one S

    I loved getting everyone's opinion!

    Manic & Sarah: You're totally right about all the infertile couples: ugh. They must be sick about all of this.

    Terri: Thanks for stopping by!

    Huckdoll: Good point on the bonding issue. Surprisingly, that's something I never even thought of ON TOP of all the other stuff!

    Jim: Yay you! I was thinking that some letters were in order myself. (really!)

    Shawna: Thanks! Let me know if you write that… 🙂

  • Lost In Splendor

    I totally agree with you. If you love children so much, great why don’t you volunteer for a children’s organization or be a school teacher. Have a career involving children. This woman can not be mentally stable. When she said she was planning to breast feed them all that was the biggest tip off. It’s ridiculous. I just have a feeling these children will end up in the system. It’s really sad and disturbing.

  • Christie Lanning

    You know those people that collect cats? The state comes in and has to remove 184 sick starving cats because someone just loved cats too much to NOT get another one? I think that is this woman, only with babies. And it’s scary to think of what’s going to happen to these babies, how they will grow up and the medical problems they may or may not have to deal with long term. Shame on the doctor who didn’t say “Nothankyouverymuch, I will not implant those embryos but if you love those frozen little guys, maybe give them to people who have NO children…”

  • Melisa with one S

    Lost: Thanks for stopping in! I think that she indeed should have become a teacher or something rather than bring all of these kids into the world under her current circumstances. Ugh.

    Christie: Thanks to you too, for coming by! Hmm. Interesting comparison; I can see it. Ick. And I am also still wondering exactly what her doctors did and didn’t tell her…

  • Michelle

    *sigh*

    I only knew part of the story — that she already had six children. And with that part alone, I was a bit shocked that she was having octuplets.

    With the rest of it? It’s just wrong, and there has to be something in her or about her that needs to be addressed that she thinks this is ok and normal. Some imbalance somewhere that I can only hope doesn’t affect her children.

    And I’m SOOOO with you on the wrongness that she’ll be supported but the children come first. It’s an awful conundrum. She reminds me of the “guy” who had a baby, too. If you’re going to do it, do it for the right reasons and in the privacy of your own life. For your sake and the sake of your children, you don’t need to be a media spectacle. Just sayin’….

  • Anonymous

    From Dawn:

    One more comment: I learned from a friend of mine who paid big bucks for her own ivf that this woman’s public aid paid for hers. PUBLIC AID. WTH?

    I wonder if Public Aid will fund my trip around the world? LOL

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