The Eyes Have It

Even though some people would try and convince you otherwise, dogs can’t talk.

Our first beagle, the late, great Bijoux, communicated pretty well with us in her own way. WE thought so, anyway. When she had to go outside, she would sit at the back door and bark once, or if it was more of an emergency situation, two or three times. If she was hungry, she would sit near her bowl and, you guessed it, bark.

Roxie has more–how can I put this?–intense communication skills.

Sometimes she barks while sitting in the vicinity of the door or her bowl, just like Bijoux did, but usually her cues are non-verbal.

She uses a staring technique which would be extremely hazardous if her eyes had lasers in them. (I think she believes they do.)

When we’re doing our own thing in the house, not really paying any attention to the needs of this adorably feisty beagle, she is plotting. After locating the person who happens to be closest to…

A. the counter on which her treat jar is
B. her food and water bowls
C. the back door
D. the refrigerator (where the carrots–her sometimes treat–are stored)

…she sets her eyes on him or her and does not let up, no matter where in the room this person goes. She keeps her body completely still, her eyes firmly locked on her conquest, focusing in as if her life depended on it. When that person is me, I have a hard time ignoring her; for one thing it’s just hilarious. Also? I think it’s pretty smart…and then I reward her with what she’s waiting for*.

The men in this house aren’t usually moved into action by her laser eyes. I present to you Exhibit A, hot off the presses from an hour ago. The younger boy was eating his breakfast, blissfully unaware of the fact that the hairs on the back of his neck were being burned off by laser eyes.


Exhibit A

He finished his cereal, got up, and put his bowl by the sink**, all while being watched by a dog whose only moving body parts at the moment were her eyeballs.

He would have walked out of the kitchen entirely, had it not been for me asking him to feed the dog.

Good thing some of us can talk, I guess.

*I know, I know: SUCKA!
**NOT in the dishwasher. Ugh. Help a mama out, would ya, boy?


©2010 Suburban Scrawl


  • Tom

    Ah, the laser eyes bit. I had a dog that would do that. At least with dogs, you know they're using their powers to discern your movements so they can remain entirely alert and ready for that treat. With cats, the laser eyes are there to hypnotize you into dropping your guard for just long enough so they can wreak their evil vengeance.

  • Liz@thisfullhouse

    Heh, our Doofus-Dawg does the same thing.

    You should see him on the days when we don't eat together (which is, most days) he's got the bloodshot crazy eye thing going by 9 p.m.

    Stupid dog.

  • Patty@NYC Girl at Heart

    I agree 100%

    Max does this too, only he plans his lil butt in front of you so you can see him. He also yawns when its time for bed b/c we are the total suckers…he sleeps in one of the beds when we are all home but usually he sleeps with my parents.

    I didn't believe the yawning thing but he totally did it to me when I was in the living room way past midnight and I was still up.

  • As Cape Cod Turns

    Too bad your laser like eyes don't bore through younger boy to make him put his dish in the dishwasher.

    Roxie is too funny!

  • Heather

    Tink is the SAME way in the am when she wants to get up. She will sit on my pillow & stare directly at me until I open my eyes (cause it feels all creepy being watched while you sleep) & if I make eye contact with her, it's ALL over!

    Too funny!

  • Oscar

    My Schnauzer does the bark by the need routine. Sometimes paws the dish. Thats always a guess. She taps, I give her food. She stares at it. Ahe wants water. Reverse it too.

    She does have different pitch barks. Each having thier purpose. Still figuring that out!

  • Michelle

    It's got to be a boy thing. But ewwwww in the sink? The wee ones fortuantely don't know that dishes can go in the sink – yet. They know if they want a sticker they must place them in the dishwasher. We'll see how long this lasts.

    I love Roxie.