Disordered Eating

I’ve got some food issues. They’re not the kind of food issues you might think of, though.

It all started out with being a *little* bit on the picky side as a child. (massive understatement, by the way.)

As an adult, I am much less picky (thank goodness) but I do have a thing about my foods mingling together on my plate, especially when it comes to liquidy things like gravy. I do realize that it all ends up in my stomach together, but I prefer my foods to have some personal space on the plate. In fact, ever since I was a kid I have put a knife under one end of my plate to prop it up and thus keep the gravy or whatever in its own territory.

I’m a riot at Thanksgiving. Ask my Dad.

I tend to think of the knife-prop thing as one of my charming quirks. It doesn’t affect anyone else and I own it as my own issue, so why not take the next step and just consider it to be positively adorable? (Maybe you shouldn’t answer that.)

Another issue I have that has only fully developed over the past couple of years is the thing I have with eggs and bread.

I could be craving a nice omelette or a great sandwich, but once I get halfway through the meal, the eggs suddenly taste too “eggy” or the bread is too “bready”. I can’t explain it very well but I go from being thrilled about what I’m eating to disgusted (and sometimes nauseated) in mere minutes. Unlike the knife prop thing, THIS issue is not adorable. It’s annoying, even to me.

What about you? Any food quirks you’d like to share? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

16 Comments

  • Liz

    Okay, so you have a bi-polar palate. It could be worse. You could be eating at my house Thanksgiving and getting grossed out by son putting ketchup on EVERYTHING. His plate is a friggin’ crime scene. You’re welcome.

  • Just Jen

    I eat the same thing for breakfast, every single day. But refuse to eat the same thing for dinner more than once a week. Drives G crazy. That, and I only seem to eat foods that are beige.

  • Shosh M

    How much time do you have? I actually mix my food together in one disgusting mess. However, that’s not the real problem. The real problem is my fear of sell-by dates. How long ago did you buy that milk? This morning? And you’re going to drink it? Are you insane? Does this wine have an expiration date? Are you sure? It’s not like it costs 200 bucks. I’m sure cheap wine doesn’t age. You’re not really putting that soup in the freezer, are you? You can’t finish your ice cream tomorrow! It will be all…dirty.
    And yet, when my daughter throws her bagel on the floor in a coffee house, I pick it up and hand it right back to her.

  • Dea

    Shosh cracked me up. You and your knife cracked me up.

    Also made me feel less like a freak, and more like a member of a community.

    Bananas are disgusting – they’re squishy. They don’t taste good enough to make up for their texture. Tuna fish literally makes me vurp just smelling it. Liver is squishy, ew. Raw onions bad, cooked mediocre, deep fried, delightful. WTH is that? If something looks weird, I get grossed out and can’t eat it.

    And the ultimate – I hate pumpkin pie. Nutmeg grosses me out, and then there’s the texture.

    Gee, thanks, I now have hives.

  • Ally Bean

    I like to eat the middle out of my pancakes. I don’t like the edges. My husband and friends refer to it as me eating “filet of pancake.” I refer to it as normal.

  • Lisa @ Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

    OMG You’re an F-ing GENIUS!! Seriously, why didn’t I think of such a simple trick. I am the same way, though Syrup is my WORST offender. Pancakes must have a plate all to themselves, lest my meat, eggs or bread become completely inedible!!!!

  • Colleen

    #1: LOVE your tag for this post. LOVE.
    #2: I have a thing with eggs, period. I don’t know what it is, but I get a hankerin’ for some eggs and halfway through I just feel PUKEY. I figure its my body telling me something that’s far too advanced for me to understand, so I figure its like…science…and stuff. And I don’t question it. I just am thankful that I’m the grown-up now and I can leave half-eaten eggs if I wanna!

  • Connie Burke

    I don’t care for: tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, or peppers. That rules out A LOT. I eat a naked pizza. That’s not to say I eat pizza naked, although that might have happened in college once.

    Like some others have mentioned, I like tomato sauce and ketchup and the like, but not the raw product. Bluck. It’s a consistency thing. Every time I’ve tried a tomato I think the same thought: “Nope. Not done yet.”

    Now, let’s talk shameless confessions regarding wacky cravings. When I was pregnant with my first, I really wanted cold cereal in the middle of the night. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, only to find we were out of milk. But we had Orange Juice…

  • Tiaras & Tantrums

    I’m quirky too – I’m very picky! My husband thinks I’m nuts! My son is SUPER picky – he’s like you – nothing on his plate can touch anything else though! The bread thing is not so weird – I never finish eating a sandwich b/c the bread gets icky. I always end up taking everything off the bread and tossing it

  • Momo Fali

    Ali does that separating her food thing. She actually doesn’t want anything stirred into her stir-fry.

    Me? I guess that I will never leave milk in the bottom of a cereal bowl to drink. I will add more cereal until the milk is gone. I go through a lot of cereal.

  • Robyn Wright of RobynsOnlineWorld.com

    Great post – and yes we all have our very strange little quirks about food. For instance when I buy ham at the deli it must be SHAVED – which means sliced sort of – but more falling apart. I won’t eat it otherwise. And the Lorraine Swiss cheese for that ham, it must be a package that I can see the cheese has LOTS of little holes in it.

    As far as your taste changing in the middle of eating – just take it that your body is saying okay, you have had enough of that item – for whatever reason.

  • Headless Mom

    I hate sandwiches too. All the time. I end up eating them, but I don’t like them at all.

    Although, they are slightly better on ‘sandwich thins’ than regular bread. Less bready.