Movie Popcorn. We Have a Love/Hate Relationship.

Ah, movie popcorn.

It’s one of my very favorite things to eat in the entire world. And yes, I know it’s horrible for me, especially with extra butter. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s HORRIBLE for me. Horrible.

But I love it so.

I happen to think that the theaters who have the little “add-your-own-butter” stations did that just for me.

I get a little carried away. In fact, I expect my local theater to take away those stations someday, and it’ll be because of me.

Last summer, I cut way, way back on the movie popcorn and then I gradually started eating it again. But ONLY when I go to the movies.

(Which is a couple times every month.)

I can order a small popcorn with no problem.

small movie popcorn

But the medium is usually only a dollar more.

medium movie popcorn

And the large, bigger-that-my-head bucket? Only a dollar more.

I mean, I don’t HAVE to eat all of the popcorn in the bucket, right?

By the way, that’s terrible logic: to spend a dollar more on something I won’t completely finish.

(Not that I have never completely finished a large bucket of popcorn, alone. Because I have. Several times. Okay, many times.)

That’s the logic I use every time, though. I’m saving money, and can take popcorn home for later. As if I need it for later. Anyway.

On Saturday, Jim and I went to see “The Judge”. Phenomenal movie, by the way.

I ordered my money-saving large bucket of popcorn, ate half, and then threw the rest away on the way out because I had a stomach ache.

“I don’t think I can eat popcorn at the movies anymore,” I said to Jim. “It made me feel really icky.”

He stared at me with a look that said, “After nearly twenty-eight years of marriage I think I know you better than that…”

I responded to his silence by saying, “I’m serious. I’m not eating it anymore. Cold turkey for me. I don’t like the way it makes me feel because I can’t eat just a little bit!”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

I WOULD SHOW HIM.

The chance to prove myself came more quickly than I had anticipated: we took in another movie yesterday, Brad Pitt’s “Fury”. It was playing at our favorite theater, the one that has a full menu. We decided to see the 1:00 show and eat lunch.

“Great,” I said, “we’re eating lunch and no popcorn! I can do this.”

“Uh-huh,” he said.

Once we were seated in the theater, I looked at Jim and said, “I’m getting a burger for lunch. But no popcorn…WAIT. I mean, this is really hard. No popcorn? How can I see a movie and not eat popcorn? Oh my gosh, what was I thinking, no popcorn?? WHO AM I? Well. I mean, I can TOTALLY control myself. I’ll just order a popcorn WITH my burger and, you know, control myself. By only eating a few pieces. Or a handful. I mean, I certainly can stop before I get a stomach ache. I’m a control freak! Control my popcorn intake? TOTALLY. Okay, that decides it. I’m getting popcorn. I know I said I wasn’t going to but I totally am. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m doing it. You hear me? I’M DOING IT. With extra butter. No regrets. I’m in total control here. Control of my popcorn destiny. Yes, I’d like a burger and a popcorn. Extra butter. Thank you.”

As I sank back into my seat I watched my husband laugh and shake his head, not surprised by my behavior in the slightest.

Man, I’m lucky to have him. And movie popcorn with extra butter.

12 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.