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King Me, King Me, King Me!

What better reason to live-blog the coronation of King Charles (I don’t know if I can ever get used to that) than the fact that I live-blogged the weddings of both Princes William and Harry? Also, I haven’t posted anything new here in six months, which is a new record for me. So…why not?

A little background: I watched the wedding of Charles and Diana in 1981 at a friend’s house. I remember that we woke up because her mom was getting up to watch it, and we went down to the family room in the basement, where the television was. Her mom sat…somewhere. I can’t remember where. It must have been on a couch or a chair. The two of us watched the wedding from under the pool table. We were 12 and 13.

Just a couple of years later when I was a sophomore in high school, my English teacher asked us to write a paper on someone who we found fascinating. I chose Prince Charles. I do not, to this day, know why I didn’t choose Princess Diana. There had to be a reason, right? Maybe I chose off of a predetermined list. Anyway, I still have that paper. I received an A.

Charles is probably the person in the British royal family who bugs me the most, likely because I was a huge fan of Diana and I am a huge fan of Harry. If you don’t know why I am, perhaps you don’t follow this royal family very closely. Or you don’t watch “The Crown.” Or you didn’t see Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan, or their Netflix documentary. (In fact, maybe you are at the wrong blog right now. Maybe go see what’s up on TikTok.)

Still, the coronation of King Charles is an historical event so I feel like I should cover it here for posterity. My booty is going to be on my couch for the duration of NBC’s coverage (I love Savannah Guthrie and Keir Simmons in London), from 5:00-10:00am Eastern time and I’ll be updating this post all the way through unless the planners of the ceremony jump the shark in some way, in which case I’m going to just say “Cheerio!”

Let’s have some fun, shall we?

4:59am: Jim is still in bed. I don’t expect to see his face for another 3 hours. He’s…not a royal fan. He doesn’t even like Burger King!

5:03am: I wonder if Charles got up this morning and jumped on his bed for a while before getting dressed, err before being dressed.

5:07am: Apparently for Queen Elizabeth’s coronation seventy years ago, aristocrats who attended stuffed sandwiches under their hats because the ceremony was so long. Today’s is much shorter and also I imagine it would be hard to shove a sandwich under a fascinator.

5:15am: I have very mixed feelings about Queen Consort Camilla. On one hand, yeah she should’ve been with Charles (publicly) from the very beginning. On the other hand, I’m still mad. IYKYK.

5:18am: NBC keeps going to commercials. I’m hoping once the ceremony begins they will not break away. That reminds me: when I turned the television on at 4:50, Larry King–the LATE Larry King–was on, doing an infomercial. Shouldn’t that be illegal?

5:21am: First Lady Jill Biden (along with granddaughter Finnegan) is attending. She looks pretty in a bright blue Ralph Lauren outfit. Nice fascinator, too.

5:22am: Other than my friend Jana, who I’m texting with while we watch, I have only seen one friend in my Facebook feed who got up early to watch. Charles is NOT popular at all, is he? (Narrator: “No, he is not.”)

5:23am: Charles and Camilla are on the way, in the Royal Jubilee carriage. It’s gorgeous and very gold. Very royal. Oh! Keir tells us it’s got a/c. The speed of this ride TO the coronation is apparently more bumpy than the speed AWAY from it. Brits (and likely lots of tourists) are lining the route.

5:29am: I wonder what Charles and Camilla are talking about in there.

5:32am: It’s raining there. But don’t they say it’s good luck when it rains on your coronation day?

5:35am: What I really want to know is if Fergie gets to attend.

5:38am: HARRY HAS ARRIVED (with Beatrice and Eugenie and their husbands).

5:39am: Princess Anne is arriving, as is Prince Edward and his fam.

5:40am: Harry and Meghan’s son Archie is four today. FOUR! Meghan is back home with the kids. Maybe she’s doing Archie’s party at Chuck E. Cheese.

5:44am: Prince George will be the Page of Honor today so he will be in another area from William, Kate, Charlotte and Louis.

5:47am: Savannah has just reported “there is no GPS in that carriage, none needed” and it’s too early for such poppycock, Savannah.

5:50am: Charles and Camilla have finally arrived (without the help of GPS). They have been wearing their crowns around the Palace to practice (oh I bet they have! Sorry.).

5:52am: I haven’t seen Fergie. I bet she and Andrew are watching from home. Maybe they made pancakes. Oh wait, it’s lunchtime there. Maybe they’re eating PB&J.

5:53am: The processional is starting. I’m seeing more actual, full-sized hats than fascinators today. Must be an etiquette thing: the more important the event, the bigger the hat.

5:55am: Charles is at the door. I see Prince George behind him. William and Kate are also arriving. Kate looks gorgeous as always.

5:57am: The royal regalia is arriving: crowns, scepters, orbs, magic wands, owls… (those last two are not actually arriving)

6:00am: You can’t deny the emotions and history that are all tied up in today. Such an incredible spectacle. (But then I think about the tantrums Charles has allegedly thrown over stupid things and I roll my eyes a little bit.)

6:02am: Jana just texted me, “I love Charles looking around, burning this all to his hard drive” and I needed to include that here for posterity. Such a great way to put it.

6:04am: Kate and Princess Charlotte have matching headpieces and I LOVE.

6:05am: Charles just said “I come not to be served but to serve.” I hope someone got that in writing. I KID, I KID.

6:10am: “God save King Charles.” Hoo boy, that sounds so strange to me after a lifetime of Queen Elizabeth.

6:11am: King Charles is receiving the recognition, which is part 1 of 5 procedural things that happen.

6:14am: He is now taking the coronation oath. Camilla looks terrified and for some reason is not looking at Charles at all while this is happening (maybe she was told not to). It’s weird. Spouses/partners normally look on in a proud and/or supportive way.

6:19am: King Charles (I’m practicing) has been brought over in front of the throne and is currently kneeling as he says the King’s Prayer. I can’t help but imagine if he’s going to stand and walk backwards, backing himself into the throne. I will think “beep beep beeeep” as that happens because our former neighbor had a backup beeper on his car and I always hear beeps when I see anything OR anyone backing up.

6:21am: He did not back up. He went back to where he was sitting before, next to Camilla.

6:27am: Rishi Sunak, British Prime Minister, is speaking. I haven’t followed how he’s doing in this role. Committing to looking that up later. After a nap.

6:37am: The Archbishop of Canterbury is delivering the sermon. His name is The Most Reverend & Right Honourable Justin Welby. It makes me want to add “The Most” to the beginning of my own name.

6:38am: While I was typing that, Jana texted, “he’s the MOST REV. Who is the MOSTEST?” and I cackled. Quietly. Because Jim is still sleeping (lucky!).

6:40am: Katy Perry, who is doing a concert for coronation weekend, has gone viral for having trouble finding her seat and I am here for it.

6:43am: The anointment is happening now. I’m thinking about all the Young Living essential oil folks who are feeling extremely validated at this moment.

6:46am: I just found Getty Images pictures of Kate and Charlotte in their headpieces. I mean, look at them! Swoon.

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6:50am: Beep, beep, beeeeep! (kidding, he walked to the throne in a forward manner.)

6:56am: Charles is being presented with the bracelets of sincerity and wisdom. I wonder what the other choices were.

6:57am: Charles is now being draped in the Robe Royale, and has once again sat on the throne..

7:00am: He is being presented with the orb. And now the ring. I wonder if it will fit. And now a glove that looks like a fancy oven mitt. And something else that I missed. And the royal sceptor.

7:02am: The crown is being placed on his head. I think they said it weighs five pounds. Imagine walking around with a bag of flour on your head! I wonder if Charles is screaming in his head, “I’m king of the worlllllld!!”

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7:10am: Jana and I were talking about how bittersweet this must be for King Charles, since his mom had to die in order for this day to come. Now that he has the crown on, he is definitely looking more relaxed in the face. Relieved he’ll finally get this day over with? I’m sure.

7:11am: William, the new Prince of Wales and next in line for the throne, is delivering (?) the Homage.

7:15am: Camilla is being presented with her crown and other royal regalia. I can’t help but imagine Diana in her place, sorry not sorry.

7:17am: Camilla has been brought to what looks like a fancy director’s chair throne. She and Charles have finally been able to make eye contact and they smiled at each other. I’m dying to know what they are thinking. Jana wants to know if they’re going to have some light saber role play tonight with their scepters. (ew and haha!)

7:22am: Charles and Camilla and their posse have gone to the shrine behind the pulpit; I didn’t hear why but I imagine they’re signing something much like the royal couples do on wedding day. Ah, Savannah just said it’s a wardrobe change.

7:30am: I hope they come out in sequins. (They did not come out in sequins.)

7:41am: I just realized that I don’t see Prince Louis anymore. Jana and I are posing various theories about his whereabouts, all plausible of course.

7:45am: Jim has just appeared in the living room. I was only off by about 15 minutes! He will still be down for a nap later, no doubt.

7:48am: Kier Simmons is talking about the route that the carriage and all the military personnel will take after the ceremony is over. It looks like it’s raining again.

7:49am: Grand music is being played. We are definitely in the home stretch.

7:57am: We have rediscovered Prince Louis. SHEW!

7:58am: Recessional back down the aisle. Cute shot of Princess Charlotte spotting Prince George, and then looking up at William to see if HE also saw George.

8:02am: They are exiting Westminster Abbey and will get into the golden coach for the ride back.

8:04am: Savannah is reporting that Prince Louis made it through the whole 2 hour ceremony “without incident” and I laughed. He must’ve been under a chair when we couldn’t spot him.

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8:09am: Jana and I are in awe. No matter how you/we feel about Charles and Camilla or anything having to do with the British royals, this pomp and circumstance is like nothing else, anywhere else.

8:10am: Prince George has reunited with his family and they are also riding in a carriage.

8:12am: Harry is outside of Westminster Abbey, chatting with Beatrice and Euge and their husbands. I wonder if he is staying with them. (I know he and Meghan are super close with Euge.)

8:15am: I just spotted Prince Andrew on his way out. I didn’t even know he was allowed to attend. Looked it up and he was indeed invited in a non-official capacity. Fergie was not.

8:25am: Just a lot of blah blah blah going on right now, to fill the time while the carriage makes its way back to the Palace.

8:33am: There is discussion about who will be on the balcony of the Palace. Will it just be the working royals? Will Harry get to join them? WHO WILL BE ON THE BALCONY??

8:35am: The golden carriage has just made its way through the Palace gates.

8:38am: President Biden sends his congrats:

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8:49am: The King and Queen will soon receive a royal salute on the Palace grounds. It’s very cool to see the 4,000 troops assembling in the garden.

8:54am: Royal salute over; next up is the balcony! (but according to the schedule, which they have stuck closely to all morning of course, we’ve got to wait about 30 minutes) This would probably be a good time for me to toast a frozen waffle.

9:13am: Decided to make an omelette for myself because “Leggo my Eggo” didn’t seem to fit the occasion.

9:20am: Balcony moment is imminent (and late!)

9:24am: They’re talking about the lunch after the festivities, and how Charles typically doesn’t eat lunch but WILL today. WHAT? Why doesn’t he eat lunch???

9:26am: It is POURING out there.

9:26am: Here they come! Charles and Camilla and all the pages first.

9:27am: Now the working royals have come out. No sign of Harry.

9:28am: Camilla’s pages were her grandsons and her great nephew. NBC is talking about this blending of the families on the balcony, and also this “slimmed down monarchy.”

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9:30am: Charles and Camilla are chatting as they look out into the crowd. Now the skies have REALLY opened up, ugh those poor spectators! (Worth it, I’m sure.)

9:32am: Helicopters are flying overhead in a royal flyover. Charles wears the crown very naturally. Camilla looks like it’s all she can do to keep her neck straight.

9:34am: Band is playing “God Save the King” and all of those thousands of people are singing along. This has to be a surreal moment for Charles, even as he has prepared for a lifetime.

9:35am: And that’s a wrap! The balcony is emptying and King Charles is going to try lunch for a change!

9:37am: THEY JUST DID AN ENCORE, LOL: the King and Queen came back out to the balcony for a moment to wave, followed by the pages.

This was so fun for me to watch and I’m so glad I got up early for it. It’s not often that we get to see something this historically significant in real time. Happy Saturday, folks! Cheerio!