I have no clue if this has made the e-mail rounds or not, but I got this today from my friend Angelica and I thought it was so funny that I’d make it my THIRD post of the day! Here goes:
Just wanted to share my favorite holiday recipe with you.
Jose Cuervo Cookies-Snowwoman
1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup. just in case.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar or whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.
LOL! I got midway and got the giggles. By the time I was done I was laughing so hard I had to go to the bathroom. (too much info there)
Thanks for the laugh! Not for making me go to the bathroom though because that makes me feel old.
Taj: You’re welcome! (except for the making you go to the bathroom part) I’m glad someone else thought it was as funny as I did! 🙂
Take me drunk, I’m home.