Can’t Decide What To Drink on NYE? I Suggest The Ones With The Coolest Labels.

With the holiday season being so crazed and New Year’s Eve coming up tomorrow, I’m thinking that some of you may not have finalized your menu. And by “menu”, I mean alcohol. Need help? I suggest being totally random and choosing your drinks by what’s on the label. The liquor store is full of thousands of funny, gorgeous, witty, and strange labels that just happen to be attached to bottles of alcohol. I took the liberty of capturing some of them for you on my trip to the store with Weaselmomma a couple weeks ago.

For the football lover (and Chicago Bears Nostalgia geek), you can get Mike Ditka’s Kick Ass Red wine. “Only” 40 bucks. I think you have to speak with a Chi-cah-go accent when you drink it, too.


Chocolate AND wine, in the same bottle? It’s got to be too good to be true! Hopefully it tastes better than it looks.


Of course, you can always offer your guests the “House Wine”…


I adore this Pink Truck label. And it matches what’s inside! It’s a girly wine!


“Smoking Loon” is a great gift. I have no idea how it tastes, but it’s great to give to someone you know who is a heavy smoker and is also a little nutty. I’ve done it. And she laughed.


If you want to go all “Renaissance Faire”, I suggest purchasing this bottle of Mead.


I wonder if, when you drink this brand of sake’, you can write better poetry.


Drambuie? Ick. I only took a photo of it so I could relate my story to you of how, at 15 years old and spending the night at my friend’s house, we snuck a taste of some Drambuie late at night. It was my first taste of alcohol. It sucked. I spit it out and stayed totally clear of liquor until I met Bartles and Jaymes in Freshman year of college.


If you’re doing the Perfect Cheer with a good friend on NYE like I will be, I suggest “Woop Woop” wine. Sounds fun.


There’s always Beer Pong…did you know you can get college-themed Beer Pong balls? Only $5.99!!


Of course, you can’t go wrong with Maker’s Mark, especially a patriotically themed bottle. Isn’t it pretty?


I couldn’t leave out the Chosen Beer…


Of course, you know what I’ll be drinking:


What are YOUR plans for New Year’s Eve?



  • Mom24

    Mark found that Hebrew beer a few months ago. It’s a real winner–the labels are hysterical and it tastes good too.

    Thanks for all the research. 🙂 Happy New Year.

  • Sarah Clapp

    They sell a beer here in Beverly, Ma. called “Bitch” and there’s another called “Evil”! Very Tiara worthy names!!

  • Lilacspecs

    A little advice from someone living in Belgium…if it says “Dutch” and it’s not gouda, croquets or buttermilk, don’t kill your tastebuds with it.

  • Mags

    I love going to see all of the funky wine labels they have now. We have “Red Truck” but I’ve never seen the pink version. Do you have Old Fart? My Mom got that for one of her friends once-no idea how it tastes but it sure is funny!

    I think I’m going to pick up a bottle of Prosecco for myself for tomorrow. I have no plans as of yet, sadly, so I might just cook a yummy dinner and have that after I get back from walking around Boston’s first night.

  • Anonymous

    From Dawn:

    Of course, I’ll be doing the Pefect Cheer and drinking cranberry pomegranite juice and vodka. 🙂

    I can’t wait to beat the pants off of those boys in cards!!!

  • Michelle

    Is there ANY other way to choose your wine when you just want something fun? I’ll have to show you what I picked for my champagne for tomorrow! 🙂

  • nonna

    i really wish i could drink after seeing all of those funny bottles, but it just doesn’t mix with my meds. i get migraines, not a better buzz. damn!

    i won’t even tell yall how long it took me to figure out what the f*ck NYE stood for, but it took your post for it to finally sink in 🙂

    word verification: teests (totally read it as testes, what’s up with that??)

  • Melisa

    Stacey: Anytime I can do research to help others, I’m happy to do it. LOL

    Sarah: Love it! I’ll have to look for that here!

    Lilacspecs: Thanks for the insider info. I’ll keep that in mind; always good to know. 🙂

    Mags: Old Fart sounds familiar, but I’m probably not thinking of wine. ha ha I hope you have a lovely evening tonight at First Night: I hear you’re getting 6-10 inches of snow…at least it’ll be pretty!

    Dawn: My card game strategy is ready, and so is my camera! I need to take a photo of the boys’ faces when we whoop their a$$es. And, are you sure that four bottles of champagne will be enough? ha ha

    Movie Maven: Seriously? I may take your word for it; I’m sort of with Huckdoll…it seems so wrong!!!

    Michelle: I’ll be waiting…

    Nonna: Your comment made me laugh so hard I had to read it out loud to Jim and then I laughed all over again. Sorry to be unclear about NYE! Bwahahahaha!

    Huckdoll: That’s what I’m thinking! It doesn’t even look good to me!

  • Dea

    I LOVE picking alcohol by the label!!! I tend to find some sneaky gems that way, actually. Like Bare Foot – yum!

    Have fun tonight – Happy New Year! We’re currently obsessed with the show, House – so, uh, you can guess what we’ll be doing – Champagne is chilling, episodes are primed….we’re boring….but hey, no driving required! 😀

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins

    This was fun! You should host a liquor store carnival! I know I've laughed out loud at the Big Butt Bock…prizes to go to the one who found the funniest label.

    Happy New Year to you! Hubby works so the boys & I will be having a Wii party. Too bad they're not old enough to be any good at Rockband!

  • Zak

    Hey Melisa and crew. This is Zak Davis from Shmaltz Brewing Company, the makers of HE’BREW Beer. Just wanted to say thanks for the shoutout. Mom, glad you enjoyed it. Hope you all had a happy new year! L’Chaim!!

  • Melisa

    Zak: Thanks for stopping by! I absolutely adore when companies are keeping an ear out for “the word on the street”! Happy new year to you as well!

  • Michelle

    Unfortunately, I left the bottle on the table last night while the camera was recharging, but my husband put it in recycling before I woke up. I’ll try to grab a pic next time I’m at Costco, as I can’t remember the exact name 🙂

  • Sue

    So did you go around the liquor store with your camera? And then get thrown out?
    My favorite wine is FAT BASTARD.

  • Melisa

    Sue: I totally did *not* get thrown out! Nobody cared: probably because the tiara I was wearing was blinding in nature.

    I forgot all about Fat Bastard! I’ve seen that one before. I bet he’d make a great pairing with Smoking Loon.