Paradise By the Dashboard Light…

…but not tonight.

See this picture?

That’s a Shamrock Shake from McDonalds.

Was that photo taken this evening?

NO.

It was taken a couple of weeks ago, when we treated ourselves to the newly available (for this year) Shamrock Shakes. I love those things.

No, you don’t understand. I LOVE THEM. Not like some women love their fences, mind you, but I definitely have a weakness for Shamrock Shakes. I like them so much that, where most normal people will nurse a shake for oh, I don’t know, thirty or more minutes?–I risk serious stomach issues because of my borderline lactose intolerance, sucking that shake down in record time. Like, less than ten minutes. (and that’s being conservative)

Every time I do that, I’m practically in the fetal position on the floor in a corner somewhere minutes later, moaning and holding my stomach, making promises to God that I’ll never drink one that fast again if the pain could just go away. My kids think that’s hilarious. Ha ha, very funny. Now give me the rest of your shake.

Today, amongst all the talk of green beer and limericks (as you probably know, the two things that make a boring party absolutely crazy), I had no interest. All I wanted was to finish my long day, get home, enjoy dinner with my family, and run out to McDonalds to get everybody a St. Patty’s Day Shamrock Shake.

I should have remembered last year. And the year before.

I am the Charlie Brown to McDonalds’ Lucy, you see.

Each and every frickin’ year, McDonalds runs out of Shamrock Shakes before March 17. WTF??? Are you kidding me??? What kind of business sense is that?

NONE. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s NO kind of business sense.

If there is a savvy McDonalds executive reading this because of Google Alerts, I’m talking to YOU. Really, ORDER MORE SHAMROCK SHAKE MIX. Use last year’s sales numbers and get more. If McDonalds has to sell them until March 24 to get rid of it all, who cares??? I for one would indeed have a Shamrock Shake after March 17, just like I would indeed wear white after Labor Day. Come on, McD’s, get with the program!!!

Tonight, I went to two McDonalds and came up empty. I walked in the door to three guys who were totally psyched about mint, and I handed them chocolate and strawberry.

I got vanilla for myself. I was mad. Not surprisingly, the stomach ache was the same.

13 Comments

  • Melissa

    Sorry about the stomach issues…but really, a mint shake….WRONG.

    And you know why there wasn’t any for you? I actually had one this year…now you know why they are short those extra few. Had I known how much you love them (but not the fence kind of love) I would have been happy to drop the 3/4 of the shake that was left by your house.

    Let’s see, I need to sleep in a cot but are you desperate enough to drink my leftover shake….

    Yeah…sorry, it’s past my bedtime.

  • Lilacspecs

    I love them too! St. Patty’s is one of my favorite times of year and has been since I was young a large part due to shamrock shakes.
    But Belgium doesn’t do St. Patty’s so the McDonalds here has no Shamrock shake.
    *sob*

  • Sue

    When I am at your house, I will make you a “shamrock shake” with Edy’s thin mint ice cream and will sing Paradise by the Dashboard light at the top of my lungs.
    Are you worried yet?

  • seashore subjects

    I hate when that happens! But I have a theory that the more you are craving Mc D’s the worse the let-down is (it’s never as good as you think it will be)

  • Melisa with one S

    Melissa: Ugh, you tossed 3/4 of a Shamrock Shake? Why I oughta…well, at least you didn’t get a stomach ache from it. 🙂 (But mint? NOT wrong.)

    Lilacspecs: Shoot! I wish I could send you one, but it would be, err, a little lumpy (in a bad way) by the time it got there! Ha ha

    Sue: Worried? No. Intrigued at the photo and blog post possibilities? Yes Ma’am. LOL

    Seashore: You are probably right. Well, at least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself. 🙂

  • OhCaptain

    My parents owned a restaurant growing up. My favorite was to take mint ice cream and mix it with hot fudge, mixing it on the malt machine. OMG.

  • MaNiC MoMMy™

    I thought all they do is put mint syrup in their vanilla shakes anyway. BTW, they SOOO need to make a Shamrock OREO SHAKE. Why haven’t those execs come up with THAT yet!

  • WeaselMomma

    I ran into the exact same problem yesterday afternoon. I was on the way home from the pediatrician and my flu-ridden son wanted one to make him feel better. Alas, he was stuck with vanilla.

  • Tom

    I wanted one… but I never got around to getting one. That, and I’d feel incredibly guilty since I’m supposed to be eating “healthy” now. Sorry about your loss – and I completely agree: they need to ADVERTISE for one thing (I haven’t seen a Shamrock Shake ad since the 80’s), and have a whole lot in stock. To run out of it is PURE lameness.

  • Cecily R

    I have another friend who complained about this SAME thing yesterday…McDonalds Execs really need to read your blog!!!!

  • Dea

    I HATE MINT. I once ordered one not knowing it was mint….UGH! DRAT! CURSES! So gross…

    BUT – I am totally with you on the fact that it should very well be available on the freaking holiday they’re intended for…um, duh??

  • Michelle

    Would you believe me if I told you that I’ve never had one before? I never realized tey were mint flavored… but now I don’t think I’ll ever have one 🙂

    BUT if I wanted one and they were out, I’m persnickety. I would have walked out with nothing in protest 🙂 Is that wrong of me?

  • The Microblogologist

    Eat a yogurt first, then down your shake, might help since the lactobacilli in the yogurt tend to get killed in the stomach and release an enzyme that breaks down lactose. You could also try the pill form of the bugs, not sure if it works or not (I would be dead if I had any intolerance to dairy, it makes up a huge portion of my diet). And of course there is the purified enzyme available as well in handy dandy pill form, that for sure should work (but not be as cool since live bacteria are not involved…)

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