(He) Don’t Need No, No No No Parental Guidance Here*

*(Thanks, Judas Priest!)

As children grow, there are certain milestones associated with different ages. Turning ten means you’re out of single digits. Turning twelve means you are likely to be left home with younger siblings as the babysitter. Turning thirteen means that you are officially a teenager (and, if you’re Jewish, you become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah). Turning fourteen means something, I’m sure (can’t think of it). Fifteen is the glorious year during which you can get a driver’s permit. Sixteen is when you can get a driver’s license. Eighteen means you can vote.

But what about seventeen?

No need to wonder; I’ve got your answer right here. About ten days ago, a few days before the older boy turned seventeen, he informed me–out of the blue–that he would be able to see Rated R movies. Like this:

“After Sunday I’ll be able to see Rated R movies, you know.”

I replied, “Uh…NO. I don’t think so!”

He smiled and said, “Oh yes. The R rating means that UNDER 17 requires an accompanying parent or adult guardian.”

I thought about it for a minute. Sadly, he was right. Knowing that teens will do what they’re gonna do (as in saying “Hey Mom! My friend J and I are going to go see ‘Shrek Part 7’!” and then go see any R-rated movie they choose), I said something completely ridiculous but necessary as a parent:

“Well, let’s just say that I hope you will let us know what movies you intend to see and get our blessing before you go.”

What is this, the 50s? Am I that delusional? Apparently.

The answer I got was non-verbal. It was that eye roll I’m so familiar with, along with the added bonus of a head shake.

Boom, Roasted!

Alright, whatever.

Fast-forward. There is a movie that comes out in July, one that I am too excited about to describe. I went to the last movie that was made by this person not once, but three times. It was hilarious, and totally wrong on so many levels. I loved it. Jim, by the way, hated it.

When news of this new movie hit, I asked Jim if he would want to go see it, and he said, “Uh, no.”

The other day, we were all sitting in the family room watching tv when the commercial for it came on. The older boy–now seventeen–said, “I SO want to see that.”

I said, “Cool! Then we’ll go together! Just a Mom and her son*.”

The loud noise his chin made when it hit the floor totally made my night.

Boom, roasted!

*By the way, yes, I have watched the official trailer on the website and noticed that there are a few things that will probably make us both squirm. I’m hoping that we’ll be laughing so hard by those points in the movie that the tears will cloud our vision. (I can hope, right?)



  • Rebecca

    You're right, I never even thought about movies for 17yo's. That year is just stuck in the middle of other milestones it often gets overlooked!

    I think it's great that you & your son will be going to a movie together. I have an 11yo son and I'm thrilled to still be getting hugs and kisses (even if it's only at home).

    Wishing you lots of fun moments (and not too many awkward movie scenes!)

  • Tara R.

    I just had one turn 16, but I'm a bad mommy. Or rather Dad is a bad father. He and our son already saw Borat. *sigh*

    Enjoy your Mom/Son night out.

  • surprised mom

    Yes! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when you told your son that you could see the movie together! I'm jealous, my 18-year old has yet to take me to the movies!
    Enjoy your night out!

  • Heather

    i cannot WAIT to see this. i think it will be so freakin' hysterical. i can't wait to hear about your night out together! it should be fun! 😉

  • Momo Fali

    I totally appreciate how sick and twisted you have to be to go see this movie. This is why we get along so well. I hope you two don't have to squirm too much!

  • k a t i e

    The difference here?

    16 – Drivers permit
    18 – Legal drinking age/Drivers license/R rated movie/vote

    – therefore –

    21 – means nothing but a huge party, as everything else happens at 18 and you've been (legally) drinking for 3 years..

    17 was the age you snuck out of school at lunch time to drink cask wine on the school sports field whilst watching the cricket game, or putting up the P plates you get when you get your license, and pretending you're allowed to drive alone.

    Enjoy Bruno!

  • Devilish Southern Belle

    Haha, when I was growing up, the local cineplex just let us in to see whatever R-rated movies we wanted to see.

    We all want to see Bruno here, too!

    (Great song selection, btw!)

  • Michelle

    Oh I was totally there for the boy with the rated R movies. I remember that being the good thing, too… but I wouldn't go see that movie. Really? Really? Ummm have fun 🙂

  • The Microblogologist

    Hahaha, you so got him! One of my fondest memories with my mother, my prude and religious mother, was when she forced me to go with her to see Little Nicky against my will. I was actually being responsible (for once) and doing homework when she dragged me to it too! Normally I would have found that one kinda lame but knowing how horrific it was for her to watch and the only reason she didn't walk out was she was trying to save face after fighting me to go it forever has a place in my heart >=)