On Being Me, Him, and Us.

D has been living at home for the past few months, commuting to the city for his full-time job and taking on extra freelance projects at night. While he’s got the normal twenty-three-year-old desire to get back out on his own because living with his parents again is just annoying in general, it’s been really nice having him around.

D and me

As I watch him juggle all the things, all the time, I alternate between smiling and cringing. On one hand, I love that he seems to have my sense of overdrive; on the other hand I feel terribly guilty for passing that gene down to him.

This conversation actually happened last week…
D, sighing heavily: “I can’t WAIT until I can finally get caught up.”
Me: “Hahahaha! You’re never going to get caught up. You’re too much like me. You will be busy forever. Sorry! Hahahahaha! Oopsie! Ugh, I’m sorry. I feel terrible.”
D: *blink, blink*

There have been other similar conversations, and they seem to be increasing in frequency as we both notice that there seems to be more of a “Twinsies!” situation than we ever expected. I’m proud, and I feel awful. I’m happy about his work ethic and feel dreadful that relaxing is difficult for him.

I know that being me (or like me) is both a blessing and a curse, but I’m trying to focus on the good stuff. I have always been one of those annoying people who could research a college term paper for two days before it was due, type up the paper (on a REAL typewriter, kids!) on the morning it was due, and receive an “A”. I work very well under pressure. So does D.

I can be in the middle of a project, stressed to the max and missing half of what I need in order to complete it, yet almost every time it all falls into place at the last minute. D has this “talent”, too.

Since high school I have been asked to lead group projects and take on organizational challenges because I get stuff done. D tells the same story.

I tend to spread myself thin and feel like I’m going in twelve directions at once but still seem to keep the balls in the air almost always, and it appears D is the same.

We’re also dependable, we have great attention to detail, and we care more than the average person about the final result. We do good work. We may push a deadline to the very last second, but we’re good self-starters and good project finishers. Usually we have good energy. People seem to like us.

I guess in the end, being us isn’t so bad, generally speaking.

All of that said, sometimes we’re not so complex. Last night when I asked D if he wanted me to make him a grilled cheese sandwich while I was making one for myself, he said, “Yes please, and cut into quarters, am I right???

Of course he’s right.
Like mother, like son.


  • Kathleen Buckley

    I love this so much! This is my “us” too! I already see so much of my over-achieving perfectionist tendencies in my oldest son and it surely makes me cringe. But. I love all the over-doing that I’ve done and still do. I think he does too. I’m trying to channel some of his little brothers more carefree ways for both of us. Together, we three could make a nice blend

  • RoiAnn

    Ha! I love this! I can just see it. I often wonder which of us Miss E will turn out to be more like – so far, I’d say she’s showing traits of us both rather equally. Time will tell 😉

  • Sylvia Joy

    OMG this is so true. It is great but deadly too. But we love you guys so much. You have both Dad and I in you and him. It is not all bad mostly very good.
    Love you two and the rest of the family.
    Grandma W

  • Heather

    I so get this. Watching my girls transition into adulthood has been one of the most rewarding and eye opening experiences of my life 🙂

  • Liz

    Apples, falling from trees, and stuff, yup! Our kids can’t help but take the best and worst and, hopefully, become much better versions of us — in our house, anyways. Now I want a grilled cheese sandwich, and apples!