It’s Getting Crowded In the Coffee Aisle.

Last night, I was writing up my grocery list. I wanted to go to my new favorite store, I sent Weaselmomma a text saying “I’m headed over your way tomorrow!”

Not a minute later, my cell phone rang. It was Weaselmomma. I answered like anyone would answer their phone when they are happy to hear from someone, “Helloooo?”

And this is what I got: “Hi! Who the hell is this???”

Geez. Put the big “L” on my forehead. She didn’t have my number stored with my name and didn’t know who in the world was headed her way. So *that* conversation got off to a great start, not.

I think she has now stored my name with the number, so should I ever text her again, she won’t be scared out of her mind.

I told her I would call when I got close to the store, and if she could make it over there to say hi, great…if not, there’s always next week!

Something you’ll need to know before reading further: I started my morning reading the ever-hilarious (but strangely, lurking-but-not-often-commenting, hint hint) Nukedad’s column over at Scrivel. You need to read it. It’ll make you smile. Click here.

Welcome back! Now on with my story. I called Weaselmomma this morning and she wasn’t yet sure if she’d get to the store while I was there, so we just figured we’d play it by ear. At Woodman’s, I was walking around grabbing groceries for almost an hour when my phone rang. It was, of course, Weaselmomma.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“The coffee aisle. Where are you?”


I said, “Great! I need you to lead me to the lightbulbs and batteries.”

She told me to stay put, because I was pretty close to the lightbulbs. She was on her way. (Note: The lightbulbs ended up being in the aisle with the sign that said “lightbulbs”. Go figure.)

She made it over to the coffee aisle and I asked what she had been up to so far today, and she told me she’d spent some time on the internets. She said that we needed to talk about Nukedad in the coffee aisle (because of his column) so that we could blog later about talking about Nukedad in the coffee aisle after reading his column about the coffee aisle. (hee hee) So we did.

As I was grabbing a can of Folgers for Jim, I told her that I don’t like coffee, and that Jim, who drinks lots of coffee, has repeatedly tried to get me to drink coffee by telling me that if I don’t like the taste (though I *Love* the smell!), I should add milk and sugar to it. WHAT? Why bother?

Weaselmomma was in total agreement. In fact, she went so far as to actually say these exact words:

“You should go to Dunkin Donuts and order coffee with cream and sugar. You will FALL IN LOVE.”

I’m surrounded by pushers.

Anyway, we had some big-time laughs. I am certain that the store employee who was stocking the shelves near us was moving at a snail’s pace just so she could stay and listen to our scintillating conversation.

After acknowledging that we both love food (we were talking about workouts and the new Goal Getters blog community we have goin’ on), I pointed at Weaselmomma and said, “We both may love food, but I do NOT look as good as you.” (She’s a skinny little thing.)

She pointed back at me and said something like, “Oh please, I’m not toned. You’re fit and could probably kick my a$$.”

My reply? “Yeah, I probably could.*”

(Coming soon: Cage fighting, starring Weaselmomma and Melisa?)

We were discussing what I posted yesterday and she mentioned that she saw something (online? on the news? I can’t remember) about women who breastfeed their children until they are 6 or 7 years old. Both of us having been nursing moms (I almost added “when our kids were babies”, but come on now, that’s probably–hopefully–obvious, right? LOL), we agreed that in our opinion, once the kid starts lifting the shirt up and coherently asking for lunch, it’s done.

I mentioned that I wonder if American women (the ones who are nursing for YEARS) are doing that as another form of not being able to say no to their children.

Weaselmomma said, “My rule was always, ‘Once they get teeth, we’re done’.”

I said, “Yeah, but now what’s going on? If these women aren’t saying no, there might be a new rule: ‘Once they get braces, THEN we’re done.'”

We laughed our heads off at that thought, and then we said goodbye as I finished my shopping.

*Though I’m not really sure if I could. Weaselmomma is from Philly and is a tough cookie. I might put my money on her after all.



  • Weaselmomma

    That was fast! Talk about the blow by blow, I don’t think you missed a thing. I’m gonna pass on the cage match unless the prize has to do with lots of cash or Coors Light.

  • Sarah

    Okay – I just had to say. Not only was our lunch the same on Monday – but I do not like coffee either. I do enjoy taking a trip down the coffee aisle, however, and grabbing a bean to inhale. LOVE the smell! HATE the taste. But tell me this – what is your preference? Mayo or Miracle Whip?

  • NukeDad

    Alright, “Strangely lurking but not often commenting”? I wouldn’t have gotten within 10 feet of the comments from your post yesterday even if I had a Haz-Mat suit on and a SWAT team backup. NO WAY. It’d be like me writing a post on prostate exams and expecting you to be the first commenter. 😉

  • Melissa

    I’m in the process of teaching myself to like $5 cups of coffee from Starbucks…what do you suppose is up with that?

    And the braces…LOL! One word, ouch!!

  • Sarah Clapp

    Ok, I have to agree, I thinks you’d like coffee if it was Dunkin’ Dounuts with cream and sugar. Nothing like it!

  • Melisa with one S

    Weaselmomma: yeah, I’m not really into the cage fighting thing either. I guess we’ll *never know*. LOL

    Sarah: Ooh, now I feel the pressure. I have to say that I prefer Mayo. Let me know if that’s your preference too; if it is, we’re going to have to talk to Michelle too, because she and I have already established that we are almost identical in stuff like that. Maybe you’re our triplet?

    Nukedad: Whoa, whoa, whoa…there’s a comma in there that totally changes the tone of that sentence:

    I typed
    “strangely, lurking-but-not-often-commenting”.

    That’s alot less creepy-sounding than what you typed:
    “strangely lurking but not often commenting”.

    I just want to be clear that I’m not accusing you of being strange. 🙂

    Anyway, I guess you’re right. But let’s see: why don’t you throw together than prostate exam post and we’ll test out your theory? hee hee

    Melissa: What IS up with that? Yikes! It’s so expensive these days to go to Starbucks/Caribou. Weaselmomma told me how to make coffee *just like* Dunkin Donuts. Maybe she’ll give you the recipe too and you can save your cash! 🙂

    Sarah C.: Nice try. Still not going. LOL

  • Mags

    In college I had a wacky professor who told us about breast feeding her kids until they were that old-we all thought she was crazy and gross. Now, I hear about people doing it all of the time? I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks that is crazy.

    I have a 6 year old niece, and I can NOT imagine her still breast feeding. Ick.

  • nonna

    don’t give into the pressure! don’t start with the coffee. it’s expensive, addictive, and unhealty! well it is if you put TWO HEAPING spoons of cream AND sugar in each cup. trust me on this one. don’t listen to them. just smell that wonderful smell and keep on truckin’ 🙂

  • Sarah

    Ah – a difference! LOL I prefer Miracle Whip. Though, on a sandwich like a Jimmy John’s Big John — it’s gotta be mayo. 🙂

  • k a t i e

    Milk & Sugar it Melisa!

    Although, having said that, it does tend to lead to $7 Starbucks cravings often, so financially you'd be better off ignoring us pushers 🙂

  • Dea

    There are videos on YouTube of a mom who is breast feeding her 7 year old daughter….it’s a show about “extreme” breastfeeding….so um, yeah….there ya go….

    I don’t know how a person can dislike coffee….I so so love it….sigh….

  • Jen

    Seriously…Dunkin Donuts coffee beats Starbucks any day! You should try it!!

    I went to a La Leche League meeting after my oldest was born and I was struggling with breast feeding. After I saw a mother nursing her 5 year old while we were sitting in a circle, sitting “criss cross, applesauce” sharing our war stories, I got up and decided to cut my kid off at 6months. Breast feeding a kid when they’re old enough to have memories of it when their adults is just GROSS.

  • Michelle

    Hey, it’s my freaky twin! Gotta love the smell of coffee, but I don’t understand why you would want to learn to like that stuff (granted, I feel the same way about beer). I will admit to being somewhat partial to caramel macchatios at Starbucks though….

  • seashore subjects

    Hello. I am new to the “blogging thing” but I just had to stop and say – I absolutely agree with you! People do push coffee, and my attitude is same as yours, if I need to add milk etc. – it must not be good.

  • Sue

    OK, we must be soulmates and no wonder we are going to be great roommates! I do not like coffee, never have, but I love the smell! I will walk down the coffee aisle just to sniff. (That sounded weird). And I love mayo.

  • Melisa with one S

    Nonna: Good advice. I’ll do exactly that. (Keep on truckin! 🙂 )

    Sarah: mmmmmm…Jimmy Johns!!!

    Jen: “Criss Cross Applesauce!” Ha! Remember when it was “Indian Style”? And now it’s “Pretzel Legs”. 🙂

    Michelle: uh-oh. You don’t like coffee but enjoy caramel macchiatos at Starbucks? I don’t even know what those are. But I bet if you like them,I probably would too, because we’re freakishly similar. 🙂 But I’m still gonna keep on truckin.

    Seashore: Thanks for stopping by! I was planning on checking out your blog at Weaselmomma’s recommendation, so I’m glad you came by to remind me. I’ll be there soon! 🙂

    Sue: Ha! Maybe we can stop by the store that weekend so after the Blogher cocktail party we can go to our room and sniff coffee beans and make sandwiches with mayo. LOL!

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins

    Those are some MEAN LOOKING BITCHES! Yowsas. I could see you guys slapping it out, *maybe*.

    And I read the article you linked to in yesterday’s post…my jaw is still on the floor. WHAT?!? Are people really buying that?!?!?!?

  • Kat

    ROFL sis, I missed you. Thanks for the hearty laugh. It’s good to be back and if there ever is a cat fight Melisa vs Weaselmomma I can’t wait to hear about it. The two of you crack me up.

  • Kim M.

    LOL! Didn’t that happen to me when you texted me originally??? I had forgotten to save your number and then felt TERRIBLE about it!