And the Oscar For Excellence In Commercial Writing By a Teenaged Boy Goes To…

Last night, while everyone was hypnotized by the Oscars, my family was obsessed with something else.

Vince, and his Slap Chop.

My kids have been quoting from this commercial for a while now, and the younger boy finally caught it and remembered to hit the “record” button on the DVR so we could all have a laugh attack later.

I have to mention, before ruthlessly making fun of this commercial, that this product actually looks very cool, and after watching the commercial only once (before the next hundred times, that is), I really wanted one.

Vince is a dynamic host/actor/whatever you call him. You might recognize him from the ShamWow commercials. He’s got a bit of Tony Little in him, which, when you’re trying to sell something, doesn’t hurt.

What is roll-on-the-floor-funny about this commercial is the combination of his excitement and the writing, which was clearly done by fourteen-year-old boys, probably because of cutbacks during this rough economy.

Some standout lines?

* “You’re gonna be slappin’ your troubles away with the Slap Chop.”
* “Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life.”
* “You don’t have time to make breakfast, you’re gonna have an exciting life now.”
* (throwing the competitor’s product over his shoulder:) “It’s worthless. Fuggeddaboutit.”
* (while chopping an onion:) “Life’s hard as it is. You don’t wanna cry anymore.”
* “Tacos…fettucine…linguini…martini…bikini”

And our most favorite? At :37, it’s:

* “You’re gonna love my nuts.” In fact, the fourteen-year-old in my house rewound and replayed this segment so many times that I thought the DVR would strain under the pressure to perform. If he could have gotten the DVR to work like a DJ, I feel certain that the evening would have been spent listening to

“You you you you yourrrrrrre gonna love my n-n-n-n-n-n-n-utz.”

Good times.



  • WeaselMomma

    I always completely blew this commercial off. Now I will never watch it without laughing myself half to death.

  • Otter Thomas

    I pretty well never pay attention to commercials. I hate the infomercial types and usually change the channel. Thanks for showing me what I missed.

    “Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life.” That is hilarious.

  • ImakehairROCK4u2

    My two younger kids are huge fans of this commercial too! They run around the house saying, “Mommy! He said nuts! He just chopped up his nuts!”

    Even my 18yo said,”Did he seriously say ‘You’re going to love my nuts?'”

  • Mom24

    Don’t buy it, I have one and it lives in a drawer. A knife is much easier and works better.

    The commercial? Funny. 🙂

  • Jennifer

    Hi Melisa!

    Thanks for sharing my pride for my boy!!! Bloggie Buddies are the best!

    And don’t you know…there is no such thing as bad timing for “shallow” compliments!! HAHA! I’ll take ’em anytime! Thank you!!!

  • Melisa with one S

    Weaselmomma: Glad I could give you a laugh! (and not at *my* expense. 🙂 )

    Otter: You’re welcome! I normally click over to something else too. I won’t anymore, when this comes on!

    ImakehairROCK4u2: I know! Hard to believe, isn’t it? It makes it *that* much more charming. LOL

    Mom24: THANK YOU for stopping me. 🙂 I’ll continue to use a knife.

    Jennifer: Thank YOU for stopping by here! Missed ya!

  • NukeDad

    We have a competitor; possibly the one he threw into the sink. I remember my life was quite boring before we purchased it, but I’ve been able to slap myself back into happiness.

  • nonnasnonsense

    i have the pampered chef version of this. i must say my life is still boring. maybe because i forget to use it most of the time. i can say this though. it does work and do a good job. the last thing i used it on was, believe it or not, a pork chop. i was tired of cutting it up for the g-kid so i just threw some chunks in it, whacked it a few times and voila! instant bite size pork chop for the g-kid 🙂

  • Michelle

    See, this is why I only watch DVR’d tv. I want one of those. I have a similar brand, but it’s hard to clean the blades and it doesn’t open up like this one. I never thought of using mine for some of those. It’s a shame they don’t have a recipe book with it 😉

    Hey, if they gave me TWO for the price of one (just pay for processing) in that commercial, I might be dialing the phone right now… see, it’s dangerous. And no, I’ve never bought anything from a tv ad. I’m just tempted every time I see them!

  • ThisFullHouse

    I have the Pampered Chef version and, I’m not sure if you’re gonna believe this, but my dog ate it.


    He’s a big giant doofus and can reach the sink.

    It was in the sink.

    I found it on the floor, broken into several pieces and licked clean.

    Yeah…the dog’s fine, DAMNIT!