It’s Up To You. You Can Quote Me On That.

Well, hello! Nice to see you again!

Since it’s been five days since I last posted (yikes!), I have had to wrestle with a brain on overload. There’s not much to write about, but there’s so much to write about. I know, it doesn’t make sense to me, either.

I had a post planned for today but put it on the back burner early this morning when I scrolled through my Facebook news feed and found an inspirational quote, one I have since lost track of but it went something along the lines of “My life is fantastic because I decided that it should be.” I love it (and probably should have made a note of who posted it) because it’s so empowering.

Being positive comes naturally to me, and although I’m well aware that I am more abundantly blessed with that than the average person, I often wonder why so many people surround themselves with others who only take and don’t give, who find joy in tearing others down, or who suck others into their problems. I wonder why some people are chronic complainers. I wonder why some people say “I can’t” on a regular basis.

There are all kinds of quotes that go along with what I am probably not so eloquently getting across in this post:

“You get out of it what you put into it.*” (Aristotle)

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Okay, that’s only two. But only because I’m too lazy to look more of them up.

What it boils down to is, if you’re unhappy about something, ask yourself if it’s under your control. If it is, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I promise you, you will be so much better off.

If you are in a toxic relationship, get out of it. It’s scary to cut the cord (I’ve been there), but the long-term benefits are more worth it than you can even imagine right now. I will never forget how, after ending a long-time friendship that turned icky near the end, my real friends told me that I was walking more confidently and I had a happier air about me. That spoke to me, and ever since then I have held firm to the belief that life is too short to spend with people you don’t like, who annoy you, or who suck the happiness out of you (choose your favorite version of that quote!).

If your dreams aren’t coming to fruition or aren’t at least in motion, do something about it. You can make all the excuses you want about not having the time or your kids are in the way or you don’t have the money or you don’t think it could really happen anyway, but you need to take a weedwhacker to all of that and figure out a new strategy, that’s all. As long as you take baby steps, you’re still going forward and you’ll eventually get there.

Surround yourself with people who lift you (and return the favor). Smile a little more often, even if you don’t feel like smiling. “If at first you don’t succeed, try again.” (William Edward Hickson) (Got another one in there! You’re welcome.)

If you aren’t used to being positive, it will seem like work at first. You will have to be truly objective about who you’re spending time with, what you’re doing or not doing, and whether you have real problems or you’re just complaining because it comes naturally to you. After you practice, though? You’ll wonder what took you so long.

And that, my friends, is my sermon for the day.

So tell me, what’s your philosophy?

*Aristotle’s quote embodies the idea of a self-fulfilling prophecy, which is one of the ideas I learned about back in college in the late 1980’s and actually think about on a regular basis. If you think something is going to be bad, it probably will be, and vice versa. Read more about it here.


  • Liz

    We are our worst enemies <— I don't really know who said it first and am too lazy to look it up too, but I find myself repeating it often. As well as repeating myself, but that's a WHOLE other blog post 😉

  • Just Jen

    What an awesome post! I’ve lived my life like this since I was in high school: if you are aren’t adding anything positive to me, then I can’t have you in my life. And I’ve tried to apply it to everyone and everything – including family. It’s been a challenge but, for me, it’s the only way to go. Thank you for the pick me up! I do feel like I am falling down in some areas and it was nice to have a kick in the pants!!

    • Melisa

      It took me until age 33-ish to learn that about surrounding myself with the “right” kind of people (for me). I wish I had that wisdom earlier, but better late than never I guess! 🙂


      Haha! xo

  • Shannon

    I am a postive person. I generally see the good in people, places, and situations, and even in myself (usually). But that whole motivation/make it happen attitude, well, that’s where I am lacking. I am not lazy, just a little scared sometimes.
    Thanks for the motivating words. I’ll try to keep them ringing in my ears!

    • Melisa

      I think sometimes the fear of succeeding can be almost as huge as fear of failure. Fear of success, as weird as it sounds, is one of my issues and I work on it all the time. Keep pushing to get there: once you get a really good taste of great things happening because of YOUR actions, you won’t be as scared!

  • Ally Bean

    Melisa, this is a wonderful post. I needed to read something positive & realistic this morning– and you nailed it with this one. Thanks.

    And I adore what Just Jen wrote: “if you are aren’t adding anything positive to me, then I can’t have you in my life.” New words for me to live by.