It’s A Very Brady Birthday

It’s my birthday today, and over the past couple of days I’ve put some thought into what I might want to write about this year…and came up completely empty. This is my eighth birthday blog post, and I feel like I’ve covered all of the angles already. I mean, how much can a person really write about her own birthday?

Then a friend, Erica, who I will now call “the Amazingly Wonderful and Hugely Tremendous Erica” whenever her name crosses my lips to infinity and beyond, did something really nice last night and unknowingly gave me the perfect gift. Make that two gifts; she gave me a gift AND the gift of something awesome to write about.

I was on Facebook when I noticed that the Amazingly Wonderful and Hugely Tremendous Erica was a guest at an event on the newest Princess Cruises ship, the Regal Princess. With Charo. And Christopher Knight, television’s Peter Brady.

When I saw the selfie that she took with Charo, I was, to quote the Facebook status I wrote about it, distracted. I was completely jealous. Happy for her OF COURSE, but totally insane with jealousy. “The Love Boat” was one of my very favorite shows when I was a kid. It’s why I (and probably most of television-watching America) wanted to go on a cruise. The thought of an event going on that included Charo and her “cuchi-cuchi” ON a cruise ship and my not being there killed me a little bit.

And then, Christopher Knight. I asked Erica to tell him that I love him. “The Brady Bunch” was probably my very first favorite show. In fact, it is STILL one of my favorite shows. I wrote about it a couple of years ago when I had the chance to see Susan Olsen and Mike Lookinland (Cindy and Bobby) in person at my local movie theater, but let me just recap how much I love those Bradys:

I have seen every episode multiple times and could probably perform them for you if you asked me nicely (and provided adult beverages).

I watched ALL of their other spin-off shows, including the variety hours, the animated “Brady Kids”, “The Brady Girls Get Married”, “The Brady Brides”, and “A Very Brady Christmas”. I EVEN watched the six-episode, 1990 dramedy series “The Bradys”, in which Marcia battled alcoholism (played by Leah Ayers because Maureen McCormick likely wasn’t all in on the storyline, and I have also always suspected that Eve Plumb–Jan–was in on the writing because that would’ve been great redemption for all that “Marcia Marcia Marcia” business) and Bobby, a race car driver, crashed and became a paraplegic but was cared for by his wife Tracey, played by MTV original VJ Martha Quinn.

(Yes, that really happened.)

I watched Maureen McCormick on “Celebrity Fit Club”, and I watched Christopher Knight’s reality show “My Fair Brady”, during which I (and probably most of television-watching America) predicted that his marriage to “America’s Next Top Model’s” Adrienne Curry would never last in a million years. (Sorry Chris. You were blinded.)

Currently on my bookshelf: Maureen McCormick’s “Here’s the Story” and Barry Williams’ “Growing Up Brady”.

Currently in my Hulu Plus queue: “The Brady Bunch”.

Currently in my Netflix queue: “The Brady Bunch Movie” and “The Brady Bunch in the White House”.

Need I say more?

So when I was pestering the Amazingly Wonderful and Hugely Tremendous Erica for details about who else was there and what she was doing, she was busy filming something that would make me lose my ever-loving mind:

My one hundred percent genuine-and-not-made-up-just-to-be-funny reaction was to start shrieking and crying. And sweating. On Facebook:

STFU!!! OMG *faints*




Wait, before I die, I LOVE YOU ERICA.

Okay, NOW I’m dead.

Do dead people cry? Because I’m crying.

Pass the tissues to this dead person.

I’m crying AND sweating.

And dead.

But still sweating. And crying.

I had heart palpitations until bedtime, and in fact I’m surprised I was able to sleep at all. I’m still sweating this morning, by the way, which will probably help me have a better workout.

Anyway, my life is pretty much made now that Chris Knight and Florence Henderson have been informed of my existence, and I’ll be riding this high (and wearing this idiotic, slightly scary grin) for a long time to come. Thank you so much, Amazingly Wonderful and Hugely Tremendous Erica! I love you!

It’s going to be a great birthday.