A Quick Post Before I Run Out For a Pair of Apple Bottom Jeans…

You know what to do: Click “play” to enjoy this post-accompanying tune:

I am genetically pre-disposed to have “junk in my trunk”. There, I said it. The fact that my bootie could have its own zip code is something I accepted a long time ago, and for the most part, I am not bothered by it. When I get a little frustrated about it, I tell myself the same thing I tell myself whenever I have bodily insecurities: I’m fit, I exercise often…what are ya gonna do?

I first came to grips with the size of my badonkadonk at the age of about seven or eight. I remember this very, very vividly. I was in my ballet class, standing at the barre, and my teacher was walking by the row of us girls, checking out our stance.

“Stand straight, and tuck your rear end in,” she said.

“I am!” I replied. And I was. Frankly, my rear end stuck out even when I had it tucked in. It frustrated me that I couldn’t look like all of the other little girls in my class, but I let it go.

Several years ago, a friend observed me working out in my new dance pants and exclaimed, “Wow, you look like J.Lo!”

Now…was my glass half full, or half empty? Was she saying, “Gawd, your butt is HUGE!” or “Hey, your butt looks really good, just like that gorgeous Latina superstar!”

Naturally, because I am an optimist, I chose to hear her comment as it related to the latter.

Today, my heart was warmed and the giggles were brought on by a very short conversation I had with Jim. I was feeling a little down about myself and said to him, “I wish I didn’t have a Bubble Butt.”

Without missing a beat, he replied, “I wish I didn’t have a Bubble Gut.”

He always knows just what to say.

14 Comments

  • abritdifferent

    What a nice husband you have :o)

    I think we’re all our own worst critics and can definitely paint a picture of ourselves that others don’t see. You know how little pre-schoolers draw huge heads, big arms and no bodies? I think that’s what we do with ourselves.

    I love me some straight-leg jeans, specifically GAP Long & Lean jeans. They cost more, but I like to justifying it by telling myself that I can’t put a price on my self-esteem…

  • Michelle

    I’ll trade you your bubble butt for my thighs that won’t ever go away no matter what I do or what I weigh! Deal? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

    Enjoy those jeans! (And I’m trying a spin class this week, aren’t you proud?)

  • Susiewearsthepants

    My daughter also has that “apple bottom butt”. She doesn’t get it from me I can assure you. I WISH I had a butt like that. Be grateful, the boody butt is very in style now.

  • Crazed Mom

    Hahahha. Great answer Jim. I was a skinny girl. All my life until pregnancy. Lost it until pregnancy number 2 and 3.. Lost it after the Brennie illness/death then gained a ton and lost it again. Then I hit my 40’s in 2002. It’s been crap ever since. The only plus~the big boobs. A plus for my hubby more than I.

    We all have things we dislike about our bodies no matter how fit we are~It’s an american girl issue. We grew up being told you can never be too rich or too thin. Garbage.

    I’m sure you look fabulous with all that exercising you do. Hugs.

    aka JaniceNW

  • Kat

    Hoooray for big butts. Jim is too funny for words, really. I wish my husband was this quick witted ;o).

    Unfortunately big butts are not always a blessing. When you want to squeeze it into a pair of tight jeans for one. Other than that I love my big behind because quite frankly boney butts are ugly and when the boney butts complain that their rear ends hurt from sitting on a wooden bench in the beergarden I laugh and order another Maß of beer. Ha, there you go :o).

  • angie goff

    Whew! Glad you didn’t really go to buy a pair of apple bottoms! I actually OWN a pair ha ha! They do suck your bootie in but they have the gold apple bottom logo that’s hard to disguise even with a tunic length shirt! I dont’ wear them because sportin’ the logo is like saying look “I have apple bottoms, I have a big @$$!” Oh, and I learned the “tuck in” trick in grade school too..when mean kids would call me “duck butt”.

  • Don Mills Diva

    Great answer but I admit to being a little disappointed that you did not include a photo with this post…

  • KathyLikesPink

    Oh, he’s a keeper, alright!

    Really, I don’t know ANY woman who is happy about her body. Pretty sad, really.

  • Mom24

    Great answer. I was so surprised to hear you were down on yourself. You seem great to me. You’re right, you’re fit, you exercise…good for you! Great that he can make you feel better in a down moment…isn’t that what marriage is all about? The support? Have a great day.

  • Melisa

    Melissa: I know! Isn’t he adorable?

    Siobhan: I think you just may be right about the preschool drawing thing. In fact, I was considering drawing myself instead of using a photo, but decided against doing either one!

    Michelle: Woot woot! I’m so proud of you! Let me know how it goes!

    Susie: Okay, I had never looked at it that way before; thanks! I am such a style maven! 🙂

    Nukedad: Which remark, the Bubble Butt or the Bubble Gut? 🙂

    Janice: Thanks, you’re sweet!

    Kat: I can assure you that I have never complained about my butt being too boney to sit, that’s for sure! LOL My big problem is that when I find jeans that fit my butt, the waist is too big…

    Angie: I wouldn’t need a jeans logo to tell people about the size of my booty, so I guess I *can* skip the AB jeans…

    Kelly: Believe me, nobody wants to see that! ROFL!

    Kathy: Yes, it is sad…but I think every single woman out there has those feelings now and then; even the ones who are considered beautiful, glamorous, and “perfect” by others.

    Stacey: Don’t be surprised about that! Again, everyone has their moments. Normally I am not bothered in the least. But yes, he is extremely supportive and I am very lucky! 🙂

  • The Microblogologist

    I totally think she meant you are the Jewish version of J.Lo, Jew Lo if you wish, which definitely means you are hawt ;)! And it is true about boney butts, between my GI issue caused weight loss and water aerobics my butt has gotten quite small and I have to sit weird if I am sitting for awhile. At least mine is still bigger than my middle sister’s!

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