Here’s a phone conversation* I had with Weaselmomma yesterday evening. Enjoy!
Weaselmomma (WM): I’ve just gotta get outta here. This winter is driving me crazy. Really, no joke: I’m getting ready to lose it over here!
Me (Me): Uh-huh.
WM: The Mom 2.0 Summit is in Houston and I am dying to get there. Actually, I could care less about the conference itself, really: I just need to get somewhere WARM! It’s too flippin’ cold! I NEED SUN.
WM: The problem is, even if I could get the cash together to go there, Mr. Weasel, the love of my life, the father of my children, the peanut butter to my jelly, the man of my dreams, is working all the time and wouldn’t really be able to be around for the kids the entire time.
*suddenly, a lightbulb goes off over my head*
Me: Hey! Since you don’t care about the Mom 2.0 conference and you really just want to go somewhere warm, here’s what you need to do. You need to find $300. Then you need to go to the Southwest Airlines website; they’ve probably got some kooky promotion going on where you can go to a warm destination for about $69 each way, and then just find a cheap hotel. Stay one night, done. Mr. Weasel can surely take care of things at home for ONE NIGHT.
WM: I could do the flight OR the hotel, but not both.
Me: No, you really can! Just find a cheap hotel!
WM: Well, I don’t want to stay in a roach-infested, crime-ridden hotel and have to worry that I’m leaving DNA there!
Me: Of course not. Never mind.
WM: See, but I do get away for free for seven minutes a day because of your super-fabulous, wonderful, awe-inspiring, incredible, tremendously fantastic “Weather’s Better in the Bahamas” series of blog posts, which you’ve been running all week.
Me: Oh, that’s sweet. I’m glad you like it. I loved how you asked in your comment this morning if the boys got to snorkel, because that’s tomorrow’s post! You must be psychic. Actually, tomorrow is the last day of the series.
WM: WHAT? NOOOOOOOOO! But there’s still snow on the ground! You know, we’re deep into February now, which means that we are deep into this stupid, awful, depressing winter. I NEED these Bahamas posts! Did you notice, when you look at your stats, that my visits are longer? I’m sitting there staring at your photos, wishing I were there! You’ve GOT to keep going. Just make s–t up, I don’t care.
Me: Haha, really? I just worry that people are getting sick of it.
WM: NO WAY. You know how people call in to the news stations and give their opinion? They say that each caller represents the views of about ten thousand people.
Me: So basically if we scale that ratio down to my readership numbers, your plea for more Bahamas posts represents, what, about…five?
WM: Yeah, about five people. But STILL! At least FIVE of us want this series to continue! Come on! PLEEEEEASE! Take me on vacation!!!
Me: Oh, alright. I guess I’ll take it through Saturday or Sunday. I’ve got Mexico photos too, how about I do a Mexico series after the Bahamas?
WM: Yes, yes! But don’t put up Germany photos.
Me: I went to Germany in the summer, you know.
WM: Yeah, but photos of Germany in the summer are, well, YOU KNOW. Not as enticing as a beach.
Me: Got it. Bahamas, then Mexico, skip Germany, then at some point back to non-vacation-related content.
So there you go, folks. Tomorrow? Snorkeling**.
*Much of this is word-for-word, especially some of the key statements that were Weaselmomma at her best; however, I MAY have taken the liberty of adding some adjectives to make the story a little more colorful.
**A day later than originally planned. Don’t worry; it’ll be worth it.
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